Self-disclosure

“A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him I may think aloud.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Self-disclosure: is a special type of conversation in which we share intimate information and feelings with another person (Sears, Peplau & Taylor, 1991). It’s the process of deliberately revealing information about oneself that is significant and that would not normally be known by others (Adler & Rodman, 2006). It involves personal information that is verbally communicated to another person (Chelune, 1979; Cozby 1973, as cited in John & Valerian, 1987).

This personal information may be descriptive, evaluative or affective. People can disclose facts about themselves, opinions, or attitudes that they possess, or information about their moods and emotions (Omarzu, 2000).

Reasons for self-disclosure:
1. Expression: to express our feelings and to get things off our chest.
2. Self-clarification: gain greater understanding and self-awareness and to clarify our thoughts about the situation.
3. Social validation: by seeing how a listener reacts to our self-disclosure, we get information about the correctness and appropriateness of our views.
4. Social control: we may reveal or conceal information about ourselves as a means of social control.
5. Relationship development: sharing personal information and confidences is an important way to begin a relationship and to move toward increasing levels of intimacy.
6. Reciprocity: hoping similar disclosure by the other person.
7. Impression management: in order to build trust.

Social penetration theory stated that individual self disclose the most to people who are closet to them, which means individual self disclose more when relationship develop (Smith, 2002).

Four stages of relational development (Littlejohn, 2002, as cited in Smith, 2002):
1. Orientation of interation: Individuals disclose very little about themselves, people usually engage in small talk during this stage.
2. Exploratory affective exchange: Individuals started to reveal a little bit more about themselves and explore the other person, can share about their attitudes towards certain things. 3. Initial expansion of information and movement to a deeper level of disclosure: Individuals move to this stage if they can pass the second stage to build a relationship. This is the time where they started to review more about personal and private matter.
4. Stable exchange: Individuals are very familiar with each other, and they might be able to predict the emotions and feelings of each other.

“The Johari Window is a model to help people to improve their self-insight and their relationships with other team members through personal disclosure and constructive feedback.” (The six sigma group, 2008)

Below are the explanations of the four parts of the Johari Window:
Open Area: Information of which both you and the other person are aware.
Blind Area: Information of which you are unaware but the other person knows.
Hidden Area: Information that you know but aren’t willing to reveal to others.
Unknown Area: Information that is unknown to both you and others.

Disclosure behavior has been associated with physical health, success in close relationships, and overall psychological adjustment. (Omarzu, 2000)

However, there are also risks involved in self-disclosure (Baxter & Montgomery, 1996, as cited in Shirley, Powers & Sawyer, 2004):
1. Rejection by listener
2. Reduction of one’s autonomy and personal integrity
3. Loss of control or self-efficacy
4. Possibility of hurting or embarrassing the listener

Here are some questions you may want to ask when deciding on appropriate self-disclosure: (Adler & Rodman, 2006)
1. Is the other person important to you?
2. Is the risk of disclosing reasonable?
3. Are the amount and type of disclosure appropriate?
4. Is the disclosure relevant to the situation at hand?
5. Is the disclosure reciprocated?
6. Will the effect be constructive?
7. Is the self-disclosure clear and understandable?

When honest self-disclosure fails to take place, we are confronted with these alternatives:
1. Lies
2. Equivocation
3. Hinting

Friendship and intimate disclosure were more highly related among women than among men. (Rubin & Shenker, 1978)

References:
Adler, R.B. & Rodman, G. (2006). Self-Disclosure in Interpersonal Relationships. New York: Oxford University Press
Omarzu, J. (2000). A Disclosure Decision Model: Determining How and When Individuals Will Self-Disclose. Personality & Social Psychology Review (Lawrence Erlbaum Associates), 4(2), 174-185. Retrieved September 14, 2009, from Psychology and Behavioral Sciences Collection database.
Rubin, Z., & Shenker, S. (1978). Friendship, proximity, and self-disclosure. Journal of Personality, 46(1), 1-22. Retrieved September 14, 2009, from Psychology and Behavioral Sciences Collection database
Sears, D.O., Taylor, S.E. & Peplau, L.A. (1991) Social Psychology, 7th Ed. New Jersey: Prentice Hall
Smith, R. (2002). Altman & Taylor’s Social Penetration Theory: Important People In Our Lives. Retrieved October 15, 2009 from the World Wide Web: http://zimmer.csufresno.edu/~johnca/spch100/10-5-altman.htm
The six sigma group (2008). The Johari Window. Retrieved October 15, 2009 from the World Wide Web: http://www.sixsigmagroup.co.uk/uploaded/documents/Johari%20Window.pdf
John, H.B. & Valerian, J.D. (1987). Self-disclosure: Theory, Research and Therapy. Retrieved October 17, 2009 from the World Wide Web: http://books.google.com.my/books?id=osTqcaiflJQC&pg=PA2&lpg=PA2&dq=Chelune,+1979,+Cozby+1973&source=bl&ots=HHQoA71LfZ&sig=PHWO0YIH7mr9V98Q5LHc0_mJy1I&hl=en&ei=f2zZSsLtB4aQkQWu9dXKDg&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=1&ved=0CAgQ6AEwAA#v=onepage&q=Chelune%2C%201979%2C%20Cozby%201973&f=false
Shirley, J.A., Powers, W.G. & Sawyer, C.R. (2004). Human Communication: Psychologically Abusive Relationships and Self-Disclosure Orientations. A Publication of the Pacific and Asian Communication Association, 10(3), 289 – 302. Retrieved October 17, 2009 from the World Wide Web: http://www.uab.edu/Communicationstudies/humancommunication/PARSDO,2007,289-302.pdf

Optimism

Do You See the Donut or the Hole?

Optimism is the personality trait where people expect good things to happen (Burger, 2007). It helps to improve both physical and mental health in a few ways:

1. Optimism is linked to positive health

o Optimists had lower levels of Cortisol (Stress hormone), which contributes to heart attacks and stroke (Ardell, 2008).

o Optimists catch fewer contagious diseases because they have a stronger body immune system than pessimists (Ardell, 2008).

o Optimists are also less likely to have high blood pressure, diabetes or smoke cigarettes (Ellis, 2009).

o In a 30 years longitudinal study, 2,300 older adults’ physical and mental healths were measured and tracked. This study supported that optimistic people showed substantial health and life quality benefits (Ardell, 2008).

2. Optimism improves speed of recovering from medical procedures.

o A four-year study involving 616 adult males showed optimism facilitated recovery from heart surgery (Ardell, 2008).

o In another study, optimistic woman who had breast cancer surgery showed better adjustments compared to pessimistic woman (Burger, 2007).

3. Optimistic is linked to resilience.

o Optimists are more likely to take constructive action compared to pessimist when both of the group is in an out-of-control situation (Mills & Dombeck, 2005).

o They believe that bad situations will become better and are motivated to change the situation. For example, they are more likely to seek health advice early (Mills & Dombeck, 2005).

o They also tend to solve the problem before it is getting worse, so they usually end up having to solve fewer tough life problems compared to pessimists (Mills & Dombeck, 2005).

4. Optimists live a longer life.

o Researchers at the University of Pittsburgh reviewed questionnaires that surveyed the personality traits of more than 100,000 women aged 50 and over. They tracked the women’s rates of death and chronic health conditions for an average of eight years. Optimistic were 14 percent less likely to die from any cause and 30 percent less likely to die from heart disease compared to pessimists (Ellis, 2009).

5. Optimism improves people’s ability to develop friendship and supportive relationships

o Optimists think that people like them; thus, they are more likely to develop friendship with people. Having social supports helps reduce people's risk for illness, particularly the recurrence of chronic disorders (Mills & Dombeck, 2005).



References
Ardell, D.B. (2008). A Wellness Take on Optimism. Retrieved September 2, 2009
from EBSCO database.
Burger, J.M. (2007). Personality. USA: Wadsworth.
Ellis, M. (2009). Optimism may have life-extending benefits. Retrieved September 2, 2009
from the World Wide Web: http://www.healthnews.com/family-health/mental-health
/optimism-may-have-life-extending-benefits-2762.html
Mills, H & Dombeck, M. (2005). Resilience: Optimism. Retrieved September 2, 2009 from
the World Wide Web: http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php?type=doc&
id=5789&cn=298


Get Happy: Ways to be more OPTIMISTICS in Life!!!

A true optimist will deal with the rough spots and move on.

“Expect the best, prepare for the worst, and celebrate it all.”

---Willie Jolley
(Author of A Setback is a Setup for a Comeback)

Here are the ways to make your world brighter:
(a) Live by the one-day principle

~ Live everyday as if it were your last.
~ Let go of the past, stop worrying of the future & make this one day your best.
~ “The only day you have is the day you wake up”

–Tom Bay
(Author of Look Within or Do Without)

(b) Pay Attention to your personal needs

~Put yourself at the top
~ Take care of yourself first and you’ll have plenty of enthusiasm, energy & optimism to give others.


(c) Let go of things that drain your energy

~ “As we lose ourselves and get more busy, we often lose our optimism”

--Shirley Garrett,
(A professional speaker, writer and facilitator in Georgia)

(d) Feed your mind with positive thoughts

~ Quit watching news that always bring you down
~ Read a book that makes you feel good. See a movie.

(e) Chase rainbows

~ Listen to your dream and go after them.




(f) Keep a feel-good journal

~ Buy a blank journal and fill it with things that make you smile.
~ Stick only positive things in your journal and open it up whenever you’re feeling down.

(g) Laugh

~ There’s a reason we always feel great after a good laugh.
~ When you laugh, Endorphins rush through your body like a burst of happy energy.

(h) Enjoy the simple things


(i) Indulge your passions